It’s not that I never thought of you. I did, constantly … and I love you and miss you as much as all my other beautiful furkids that have gone on to wait for me at the Bridge. It’s just that we never had a chance. I never saw you grow and discover yourself. I never saw your first amazed look at the world, your first tail wag, your first hesitant steps, your first bark. I never saw them because you never experienced them. You were Kaylee’s little brother who journeyed to the Bridge as a stillborn puppy.

I always wondered what you might have been. What would you have looked like? I know that someone, somewhere, would have loved you very much. After all, I do. I loved you before you were born. And I cried for you just as much as all my others. Love doesn’t need years to develop. It happens in an instant, and can be torn apart just as quickly, yet still be remembered and mourned for a lifetime.

I never saw your little body – I couldn’t bear it. The vet said you were chocolate and white, like your sister. I know you were beautiful, Little Boy, but I always wondered … I wanted to be able to picture you.

Then, just recently, I had the dream. One of those dreams that are so real that you know it’s not a dream, but a message, a visit, a true experience. In it was a beautiful blue and white longcoat Chihuahua boy … here with me … a boy I called simply Blue. And when the dream was over and I awoke, I felt a terrible sense of loss … and yet joy. I know you were Kaylee’s little brother. They said you were chocolate and white, but chocolate and blue can look almost indistinguishable on a newborn puppy. Your mother Romi looked like a blue and white when she was first born, till she later deepened into chocolate.

It was you, wasn’t it, Little Boy? After all these years, you came to let me know you were there, at the Bridge, with your sister Kaylee and your mother Romi and all the others who wait for me there. I don’t know why you never came to me before now. Maybe it took this long for Kaylee to convince you that I would still love you. Or, more likely, time on earth has no meaning at the Bridge. It doesn’t really matter, Little Boy. I love you so much … and when I come, I will meet you with joy and all the love I wasn’t able to share with you here. And we’ll do all the things we never got to do. And we’ll all be together, as we never got to be before.